I Can Pretend
by TheBookMouse
Summary: After the war against Gaea is won, Percy and Nico part ways, what will happen when they meet again? They are both alone and broken, will they be able to help each other? (Percy x Nico, Percico, Nicercy) Rated T just in case
1. Chapter 1

I can always pretend.

Pretend that I'm happy.

Pretend that I don't cry myself to sleep every night.

Pretend that he loves me.

But will it ever become reality? No, I can't let myself even think that. Because I'm me and he's so… him.

I'm alone, all alone.

oO0Oo

"Nico! I haven't seen you in years!" an overly perky brunette yelled as she tackled me in a hug. It was Hazel, my half-sister on the godly side. Oh yeah, did I mention? I'm the son of one of the Olympian Gods that mortals call myths. They never died, or faded. They simply moved with western civilization.

"Yeah, I guess it has been awhile," I told her while I scratched the back of my neck.

"Why didn't you visit sooner?" she asked me.

"I've been busy," hiding, my mind silently tacked on. I had been avoiding human contact in hopes of getting rid of the feelings that have plagued my heart. In all honesty, I didn't even mean to come to my sister. I had been walking through an airport and decided to get on a random flight, to see where it would take me. I had lost the ability to think about my actions before doing them. I simply floated through life.

"Well now that you're here I insist you stay and visit with me for a while. Frank won't mind if you stay at our house."

I couldn't avoid the pleading look in her eyes so I sighed resignedly and responded with a nod. "I suppose I could stay for a while."

"Yay! I can hardly wait to hang out with you, and show you the town, and just be with my favoritest brother in the world!" she squealed happily.

"I'm your only brother," I replied sarcastically. I can't believe that I remember how to interact with other people.

She just smiled and proceeded to drag me out of the airport and into her car. "You're lucky that I just finished work for today, or else you would be sitting somewhere while I finished up working," she teased. Hazel works at the airport as an accountant. She organizes the flights and makes sure they leave and come in on time. We got into her car and she put the keys into the slot to start up the car. During the ride Hazel rambled on and on about what had been going on with everyone else from her group of friends, namely, the seven of the prophecy. They had all continued training for a while after the war ended and then proceeded to try living in the mortal world. She talked about all of them, except for two.

"What happened to Percy and Annabeth?" I asked her when curiosity got the better of me.

She was quiet for a couple of seconds, as if contemplating how to answer that. "Well, Percy and Annabeth stayed together after the war for a while. Then they got married." I inhaled sharply at this information. "Then, things took a turn for the worse. Annabeth developed breast cancer and the doctors told her she didn't have long to live. Knowing this, she took Percy aside and told him that she wanted her last days on earth to be truthful. She-she told him that she didn't love him as a husband. That she only loved him as a friend. Annabeth said that she had been young and blind as to what love really was until that point. Percy, of course, took this hard. There was his dying wife in front of him telling him that she never loved him. Percy loved Annabeth so he humored her in her final days, he was there for her as a friend, nothing more. She died two weeks later. Percy was hysterical for the longest time, then he just became solemn. He's… broken." Just like me. By now Hazel was balling her eyes out while I held her and tried to comfort her. I was shocked, and trying to swallow all this information. Percy… broken? I couldn't imagine the son of Poseidon like that at all. In that moment, I decided that I had to see Percy Jackson.

oO0Oo

Three Weeks Later

oO0Oo

I told Hazel and Frank that I had to go back to work and left. They seemed very happy together, and I have to admit that I was a tiny bit jealous. They got to be with the person that they loved with no extra difficulties. I, however, have always been alone. I mean, the girls all seemed to swarm around me, but I just don't swing for that team.

I walked down the street a couple houses and walked into an elm tree, well, actually, an elm tree's shadow, and shadow travelled to California. I heard from Hazel and Frank that Percy lives in a small town in California along the beach. I was there now. I walked around, looking at peoples faces so that I wouldn't have to ask around town to find him. The reason I was doing this is because whenever I was around Percy in the past, I always got this fluttery, heart wrenching feeling that most people would call love. I call it death. Although love is far worse than death, just ask Hazel.

I finally stumbled across a building with a sign over it that read Percy's Palace. This is the place, since I don't know anyone else that would make a name that cheesy. I took a deep breath and opened the door. Inside was just about everything that you could possibly think of. There was surfboards, sea shells, bags of sand, sand castle molds, shovels, sand sifters, bathing suits, sunscreen, and a million other beach themed items. But the best thing in the shop was the man sitting behind the desk. He had dark brown, almost on the verge of black hair, tan skin, a muscled build, and beautiful green eyes that sparkled and changed like the ocean. He was reading a book. Wait, what? Percy Jackson was reading?

When he heard the bell on the doorway signal that someone had walked in, he looked up from his book. He looked confused. "Nico?" I almost melted right there. His voice had become deeper and more… husky.

I cleared my throat and responded, "Yeah. It's me."

He got up out of his chair and ran over to me, crushing me in a hug. "I thought you were dead! I swear to the gods that if you ever scare me like that again I will personally kill you," he growled. I looked at him, shock written all over my face. He cared for… me? He pulled back and help me at arms length, as if to make sure that I was still there. "Why? Why did you disappear?" his eyes showed betrayal as he asked me this simple question.

My throat went dry. I knew that he wouldn't believe the same excuse that I gave to Hazel so I decided to tell him part of the truth. "I was scared of my feelings so I ran away." I told him simply.

He thought about it for a couple of seconds and then he frowned. "She's gone," he said quietly. "Annabeth died."

"Oh gods, not you too! I did not like Annabeth!" I defended myself once I understood what he was getting at.

He looked baffled and responded, "What? Then who did you like?"

"No one…" I said quietly.

He seemed to understand that I didn't want to talk about that anymore and instead he uttered a single sentence, "Do you need somewhere to stay?"

I nodded meekly and responded, "Yes, please."

And so that was the beginning of my long term stay in California.


	2. Chapter 2

After Percy told me that I was allowed to stay, he finished work while I waited for him to be done. Once his shop closed, around seven pm, he led me over to his car and drove us to his house.

It was a small, cozy cottage that was halfway over the water. It had a wrap around porch that became wider in the part that was overlooking the sea. The larger porch area was furnished with a hammock, a table, some lounge chairs around the table, a half-circle bed, and a wind chime that tinkled in the wind. If possible, the inside was even more beautiful, when you walked into the house you were met by a small room with a coat hanger in the corner and the smell of chocolate chip cookies. Walking through the only door in the room led you to the living room. The living room had plush tan colored carpet, that was in all of the house, sea green walls, a blue couch and matching armchair, a tv, a bookshelf, some seashells, and a couple photos of the people Percy must have been friends with, I only recognized a couple. The kitchen was small, and connected to the living room through a bar area. A hallway branched off of the living room, when I looked down it I saw four doorways.

Before I could explore further I felt a hand on my shoulder. I flinched instinctively and spun around to see who had touched me. I was greeted by green eyes that to the normal person would seem normal, but to me, someone who had studied his eyes for so long, I knew he was hurt.

"Um, sorry," I mumbled in apology.

"It's fine," he told me although his eyes told otherwise. He was hurt that I had flinched away from him.

"No, really, I'm just… not accustomed to people touching me," I explained in hopes of keeping the hurt out of his eyes. It worked, if only a tiny bit, and he smiled a sad smile.

It turned into a large grin as he seemed to think of something funny. "Well then I guess we'll just have to get you used to it," he told me and then tucked a stray piece of hair behind my ear.

My cheeks filled with color and I ducked my head down. "Well aren't you going to show me around?" I questioned after I was sure that my face had become less flushed.

"Oh, yeah, I guess," he replied. "This is the bathroom," he stated as he walked down the hall to the last room. It was fairly simple, except for the large jacuzzi. Then he walked down the hallway and showed me the rest of the rooms. "This is my bedroom, the closet, and the guest room, where you will be staying."

The guest room was fairly simple, just less ocean themed than the rest of the house. It had a bed with fluffy white covers, a simple black chair in the corner, a dresser, a desk with a swivel chair, a door that I assumed was a closet, and a large bulletin board on the wall. The white and black theme of the room appealed to me more than the rest of the house and I already felt at home here. I had never felt at home anywhere before.

"It's… really nice. I can't thank you enough for letting me stay here," I told him appreciatively.

"That's what friends do, right?" he reasoned with me. I cringed at the word 'friends,' I wanted to be more than friends with Percy, I wanted the son of Poseidon to love me. That would never happen, so I should be happy that I'm at least his friend.

I swallowed dryly and answered, "Of course."

"Well, I better make some dinner. You up for some fried chicken?" he asked me.

Then I realized that I hadn't eaten in… actually I don't know how long. I'm famished. I shrugged and responded, "Sure, sounds good."

He smiled, the kind of smile that just brightens the entire room, the smile that I fell for, the one where his dimples show up and make his already beautiful face a million times more cute. "Ok, you can just watch some tv, or read a book, or just do anything. I'll come get you when the foods ready."

"Ok. and Percy?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks." With that said I walked over to the bookshelf and grabbed the one that seemed most worn. It was titled My dream journal By: Percy Jackson. I laughed and walked outside with my finding. Percy reads and writes? Oh this is just too good! If the gang knew about this… No. I won't tell them. It'll be something that only I know about Percy. Our secret.

I opened it to the first page and read the dedication.

To my friends who helped me get through life, and to Athena for forcing me to try doing something to improve my horrible education.

I had to guess that Athena wrote that last part. That does help explain why Percy has a dream journal though. I started reading it. It talked about everything from his insecurities to his love life and I felt like I was eavesdropping on his life.

"What are you doing?" a voice asked meekly.

I turned around and saw Percy standing in the doorway, looking cornered and afraid.

The guilt came crashing down on me like a tidal wave and I responded, "Erm. I'm reading?" Intelligent. Real intelligent.

He walked over and grabbed the book from my hands. "How far did you get?" he asked me nervously and yet a little firmer than last time.

"N-not very," I stuttered out.

He looked relieved. "Sorry 'bout that, I just don't like it when people go through my private dreams."

"No, it's me who should be sorry. I shouldn't have been nosing around in your business," I apoligized.

"Well, let's just go eat," he resolved.

We ate the fried chicken, which I had to admit was amazing, and then went our separate ways to bed.


	3. Chapter 3

Percy's POV: I hummed as I cooked the fried chicken in the pan. Though my mind was in other places completely as I stirred and flipped the delicious pieces of poultry. I wonder why Nico decided to just suddenly show up. Annabeth had been dead for a long while now, so it couldn't be for romantic purposes (I always thought that Nico had like Annabeth.) I also have to factor in the fact that he looked completely repulsed by the thought of liking Annabeth.

I sighed, Annabeth hadn't just been my wife, she had been my best friend. Our story was a rather sad and pathetic one, that no one but us got the complete story of. We had met at around the age of twelve, and been forced into a quest almost instantly. After that Grover, her, and I always stuck together. It wasn't much of a surprise to the rest of camp once we started dating. She had done it because she didn't know what true love was, and I had done it out of self pity. Annabeth had mistaken brotherly love for the love that couples had. I had thought that the one person I was in love with would never love me back. I still think that.

We had continued our shaky relationship awkwardly for a while, until we realized that it just wasn't going to work. At that time I had lost my memories and been sent off to the Romans. While I was gone, Annabeth had met a girl and fallen in love. That girl had just so happened to be in a relationship with Mr. perfect Roman, so she was extremely off-limits. Annabeth was incredibly frustrated when she couldn't find me, since she needed someone that she trusted to talk to about this sudden change in her feelings. In the mean time, I had been left with the false feeling that I had a girlfriend. Well, I did, but she was more of a sister to me.

When I was in the Roman camp I met him for the first time. Again. Yet he didn't say that he knew me. That frustrated and confused me to no end, but before I could remedy this insecurity, I was sent off to go release Death.

Eventually I was reunited with Annabeth and my memories. I got on another quest just to realize that we had to save the love of my life before he died of starvation in a jar. Yes, I said he. The great Percy Jackson, Hero of Olympus, slayer of titans, Prince of the sea, is gay. And he meaning none other than Nico di Angelo. I didn't want to fall in love with him, but my heart told me otherwise. I had seen one glimpse of him after the rescue, before being plunged into Tartarus. That glimpse held the promise of happiness and got me through and back to the mortal world.

When I was back up I was horrified to find that Jason Grace was being all buddy-buddy to Nico. Sometimes when Jason whispered in the ghost prince's ear Nico would look around frantically and if I was anywhere in the near area he would turn back to Jason quickly and scold him harshly with bright red cheeks. Like Jason knew something about Nico that no one else did. I gave up on the concept of ever having him and, in the act, threw myself wholeheartedly into my fake relationship.

After the war, Nico disappeared. Annabeth and I moved to California and got married. We figured that it was reasonable to get married if we would never get the ones we wanted. Better for healthcare, too. We never had kids, or were sexually active in the first place. We never kissed romantically, just in a siblings kind of way.

Then Annabeth got diagnosed with cancer. She was miserable, and did everything to clear her mind. This included becoming more distant with me.

Then she died.

My heart broke, and the one person that could pick up the pieces was who-knows-where. Now, nearly five years later, he returned to me.

The beginning of picking up the pieces is destroying the books. It had been Annabeth's idea to write them. I had a diary about my feelings, and a fiction book about what the world thought that I felt. I thought it was stupid, but it was part of her master plan to be guilt free before death so how could I have protested against it?

I had just finished the chicken and put it out on plates before walking into the living room. Nico wasn't there. What if he ran off? I looked around for a bit more until I noticed a flash of black sticking out from the light colored porch. I sighed in relief and walked outside. He was reading a book. But now just any book, it was my fictional story about what people expect of me. What if he believed what was in there?

"What are you doing?" I asked in a minute tone.

"Erm. I'm reading?" he said in a questioning voice. His face looked guilty.

I walked over and snapped it out of his hands. "How far did you get?" I asked almost menacingly.

"N-not very," he said meekly.

I breathed a sigh of relief. "Sorry 'bout that, I just don't like it when people go through my private thoughts," I said quickly to cover up. Note to self: hide the real diary from overly curious Nico

"No, it's me who should be sorry. I shouldn't have been nosing around in your business," he apologized quickly.

"Well, let's just go eat," I decided after it got a bit awkward. We ate the fried chicken, and then went to bed.

I sat up in my bed for a while, until I could hear his even breathing, signalizing that he fell asleep. I creeped out into the living room and over to the bookshelf. I quickly grabbed both books and quickly tip-toed back to my room to hide them in my closet. Before I put them away though, I wrote on the inside cover of them a quick note to Nico if he ever stumbled upon them again.

I stealthily went over to the room that I was letting Nico borrow and quietly whispered, "I love you, Nico. Please don't leave me again." I kissed him on the forehead and walked back into my room before plopping down on my bed. The last thing I thought before drifting off to sleep was that I was in deeper than I had ever realized before.


	4. Chapter 4

Nico's POV:

That night I dreamt of Tartarus. I was there again, with nothing to protect me. I was standing near the Phlegethon river. Ahead, I could hear voices.

"It'ssssss time," a snake-like female voice hissed.

"Of course it isn't! I'm, like, telling you! We would never stand a chance of getting out of this hell-hole. Hades would, like, totally destroy us!" a high pitched voice said. I walked towards them, careful to keep out of sight, to be able to see and hear better. The first voice was a draconae and the second was an empousai, but not just any empousai, it was Kelli. I recognized her because she was Luke's right hand man (woman? monster?) during the war against Kronos.

The draconae sighed as if she had been arguing about this for the past millennia, which was highly likely. "The earth goddess will wake again! and then we will be released," she insisted proudly.

Kelli's hair burner higher and brighter than before as she yelled her response, "NO! I. Am. Not. Risking. It. AGAIN! She will not rise again for generations to come. We have to wait it out!"

Foolish girl, I will rise again. Sooner than you think. A deep, rich female voice said.

"No!" I screamed and ran out from my hiding place. The two monsters snapped their heads towards me and grinned carnivorously. I stumbled backwards in an attempt to get away and hit the cliff side. They advanced on me and were just about to attack.

Silly Boy.

oO0Oo

Splash! I sat bolt upright in my bed and spluttered for air. I was drenched in salty water. I looked around to see my assailant and saw a son of Poseidon in the corner of the room leaning against the wall and whistling suspiciously with his hands crossed over his chest and one foot against the wall.

"What was that for?!" I exclaimed angrily as Percy looked in my direction.

"Oh, no reason. You were just screaming bloody murder and wouldn't wake up any other way," he said calmly, as if things like this happen all the time.

"It was just a bad dream, you didn't need to wake me up," I grumbled but inside I was thanking him a million times over for saving me from that horrible experience.

I shuddered. If it was from the cold of the breeze hitting my soaked skin or the memory of my dream I don't know. Percy's eyes softened and he grabbed a towel from off his shoulder and tossed it to me. "Sorry, I guess I should've thought that through more," he said meekly.

I smiled a real smile as I started to dry myself off and looked over at him. "Now I know why she called you seaweed brain," I told him as I laughed a bit.

His face looked caught between emotions. Happiness, annoyance, sadness, and regret. I don't know what he would regret. He finally settled for a smile, though I could tell it was forced. "Yeah, I guess so," he said.

"Sorry," I told him.

He looked surprised and responded, "For what?"

"Bringing that up. I know it must be a pretty touchy subject. I know that I would bite someones head off if they reminded me of my true love dying," I told him. "Trust me. I of all people should understand." I did after all, forever lose my love because not only was he taken at that time, but he's straight, been straight, going to stay straight. I shouldn't get my hopes up.

Percy frowned. "No. You don't understand. No one does because no one knows," he said sadly.

"Knows what?" I asked curiously.

"Anything about Annabeth and my's relationship. No one ever asked," he said vaguely.

"Well I'm asking now," I reasoned with him.

"I guess…" Percy responded.

"Tell me! I need to know, you have no idea how much I need to know," I pleaded desperately.

"Why? Why do you need to know?" he said angrily. "It isn't _your_ life, Di Angelo!"

"BECAUSE I LOVE YOU, you bluthering idiot, and I care about your life and well-being!" I exploded at him.

"WELL I'LL HAVE YOU KNO- wait, what?" he stated confused.

"I said I love you and care about what you feel and if you're okay. Your idiotic antics, your seaweed brain, your complete obliviousness, you in all of your glorious moments and equally horrible ones," I lectured, caught in the moment. "I will never stop loving you either so don't you try and get me to- Mmmph!" I looked up shocked as he attacked my lips. I melted into his arms and threw my arms around his neck.

He pulled away and looked down at me with a bright glint in his sea green eyes. "I love you too," he whispered quietly, as if he didn't want the world to know our beautiful, wonderful secrets.

"Really?" I responded quietly as well. What if he was just playing around with me? Any second now he'll laugh and say it was all just a joke…

"Forever and always. If you'll have me and my simple obliviousness, of course," he said with a wink.

"Forever and always," I repeated and smiled, the first real smile I had ever shown in years.

oO0Oo

I hope you liked this! I was going to have the burst of feelings take longer to show, but this seemed so perfect! I will be continuing this story, though.

Please review!

-Rose


End file.
